issues- pass me some tissues.

Yesterday while rolling around in bed, I got a bit emo about stuff. Been wanting to address the issues but kept it all inside.

Even before the engagement, I've been asked upteen times if I'm making the right decision because we've  been together not for long and it is a decision that will affect me for my whole life.

At first, I took into consideration what OTHER people thought about my decision but it gradually annoyed me cos there were many opinions and I had NONE.

Do you REALLY want to get married? Aren't you too young? How do you know he's the one? Have you saved enough? Can he take care of you? Is he handsome enough? (trust me, there are alot of superficial/judgemental people out there.) Are his family members ok? Blahblahblah.

A week before the engagement, I got cold feet. I couldn't stop crying because I was SCARED. Some people might say, "Ah relek ah, tunang je pe, tunang bleh putos pe." Kalau fikiran gitu, lebih baik jangan tunang. Jangan commit teros.

Eventually he found out why I've been so weepy and distant, we had a talk about it and we went through the engagement. I'm not saying everything is a bed of roses but I am sure it's gonna be strong. All my fears have been laid to rest. :)

Mom used to remind me this, when I was dating around la. "Choose laki jangan yang handsome je, choose yang berugama, sayang diri and family and kerja tetap. Kerja ape2 pon boleh asal kerja halal dan tetap."

I'm not being self righteous, so far from that but what Mom said is true. Muka kalau handsome berg tapi malas nak kerja FOR WHAT. Bukan mintak yang millionaire and kaya macam anak raja ar, yang sedarhana pon ok.

I still have these sceptical people around me btw. Sometimes it's hard not to listen and give in to them but ultimately it is MY choice.

Sometimes my fiance does not understand why I'm blogging about my wedding stuff. Guess he thinks I should keep things in private. Some people might say, "Yek eleh dekni, kahwin masih lama tapi feeling feeling." but all I wanna do is document the process and share things at the same time. We all must help each other mah. I admit that I don't know alot about this kahwin kahwin stuff but if other brides can share deals and ideas, I'm all up for it. I am still understanding and learning about the ropes of planning. Anyway, this is the only escape from my stressful and demanding job. It makes me happy to talk and share my thoughts. So ok lor.

But of course it won't all be kahwing kahwing issues entirely. This is to document the whole process so after 2013, I will read everything and reminisce about it. :)